The Bear Scene

It had to be brought up eventually.  What does this scene say about Nic Cage?  What does it say about the American psyche?  Does it prove that Daffy was a better duck than Donald?

The scene opens with an ostentatious parade featuring women in animal masks.  It is clear here that they symbolize American society in a chauvanistic way- that we have become “women” but hide this behind feral masks.  They parade around in these feral masks so as to satisfy their egos and believe that they are men.

However, Nic Cage intends to show the duality of man, and disguises his masculine handsomely sculpted self in a bear suit (Bear fact #1: Bears eat entire trees whole), which is of course less manly than he truly is, creating this dichotomy of America being women disguised as more masculine animals versus a single man being very manly and disguising himself as less of a man.  Bear fact #2: bears are born cute cubs, but go into cocoons before emerging as fearsome warriors rather than cute cubs.  Or so I’m told by a reliable bear expert.  (I believe that is what “rrooar rroar  rrr” means in Kodiak, but it could also mean “I want a salami sandwich.”  Can I get a Kodiak expert to confirm this?)

That Cage is able to slip into the parade so easily says that America is blind and foolish, and far too caught up in itself to notice being duped.  Nic Cage says something to his secret lover, a girl behind a bunny mask, perhaps along the lines of “I want to snort coke off of your jawline.”  I can’t be sure, my soundcard doesn’t work.  Finally, the parade arrives at a bonfire.  Someone is talking, probably about voting for liberals, or maybe about this new pair of shoes they got.  My lip reading skills are lacking, especially with YouTube videos.  At this point, Nic Cage runs up to the bonfire and punches the woman talking.  Really decks her.  Stars and stripes are all they both can see, the ones of glory for him, and the ones of dizziness and a concussion for her.  This was a blow for true America!  America, dammit!

Here I stop watching.  Quite frankly, the clip is complete.  The bear-man won, and showed that it’s okay to be masculine and beary.  Bear fact #3: Bears have 19 fangs, each razor sharp with serrated edges and dripping with poison.  Also, no, I have not seen the film, thanks for asking.

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~ by Arik on October 16, 2008.

2 Responses to “The Bear Scene”

  1. Okay, listen god dammit: You can’t start a Nic Cage blog and not see any of his movies. His movies are ten times more retarded and insane than you make them sound. You have so much material, but you use none of it! Yes, the bear scene was funny. But you know what was funnier? Every other second of the movie, which was all like that. It was two straight hours of punching, hijacking, screaming and, in one instance, dramatically jump-kicking women in the throat. You’ve got comedy gold waiting for you, and you’re sifting through the fucking change jar. Did you know his last line in the movie is “OH NO! NOT THE BEES!”

    DID YOU KNOW THAT, MOTHERFUCKERS?

  2. HORSESHIT.

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